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This should be ' the movie industry'.
movie industry. It is universally acknowledged, that the Hollywood movies are domineering in T/WF
This would be better as ' dominate '.
the film market. Being in the top-list of internationally recognized movies, they have enormous box-office takings. My country is not an T/WW
This could also be expressed as ' is no exception '.
exception. Despite the fact that during the last 10 years quite a few motion pictures of a high quality were released, the great majority of people in Russia are in a great deal WW
The expression you need here is ' are to a large extent '.
unaware not only of the modern trends of film art in our country but /\
This is an example of a 'not only ... but also' structure. So, to complete ' not only of the modern trends of film art in our country' we need ' but also in other European countries.'
in other European countries.
Paying tribute to the best American movies which emphasize universal values, it wouldn't come R/WW × Register and Wrong Word This should be ' would not be amiss '. 'Would not' is more formal and appropriate in an essay'. 'Not be amiss' is a set expression. Close amiss to mention the not so good ones. After watching these films we have, so called side effect WF × Wrong Form This should be 'side effects '. Close such as undermining /\ × Word Missing This should be ' the values'. Close values of local culture and traditions. It is happening because the messages of these films do not come across properly T/WW × Wrong Word This would be better as 'do not come across well '. Close Therefore, instead of the ideas about the value of every individual, freedom of choice and love between people, we have these conceptions substituted by aggression, permissiveness and disobedience to seniors.
Nevertheless, I am not willing to be so pessimistic, that WW × Wrong Word This should be which '. Close is why I totally believe in the wisdom and common sense of people throughout the world. Only understanding that consolidation does not mean sameness but, actually, it should be based on the value of the unity of various cultures, that is what can help people to tackle this problem. SS × Sentence Structure This should be something like ' Only by understanding that consolidation does not mean sameness but valuing of the unity of various cultures, will people be able to tackle this problem. ' Remember the set structure 'Only by ..., will ...'. Close Feedback This is generally a good essay Elena. You have focussed on two of the points listed and given a full and thoughtful answer to the question. Your organisation is also clear with good use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. There are lots of examples of good choices of vocabulary and advanced use of English. Overall, your ideas are communicated very clearly and in an engaging, semi-formal register. The reader would be fully informed.
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The third paragraph of the body should contain the weakest argument, weakest example, weakest illustration, or an obvious follow up to the second paragraph in the body. The first sentence of this paragraph should include the reverse hook which ties in with the transitional hook at the end of the second paragraph. The topic for this paragraph should be in the first or second sentence. This topic should relate to the thesis statement in the introductory paragraph. The last sentence in this paragraph should include a transitional concluding hook that signals the reader that this is the final major point being made in this paper. This hook also leads into the last, or concluding, paragraph.
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